| | So my ten year reunion was Friday night.
I don't even know where to start. I feel so amazing today. I was trying to explain it to Matt, but I can't. It's a "more grown up" feeling. I've been so worried about the reunion, and how it was going to go.
I can honestly say that the hardest part of the whole evening was walking in the door. Luckily Shannon and Matt were both there with me. Once we walked in the door I was surprised to only see like maybe 40 people there, and we got there an hour after the reunion started. My first reaction was, "who the hell are all these people?" I didn't recognize anyone until we spotted a group of friends in the back corner. Drinks were quickly consumed, and since I was too nervous to eat all day, they kicked in rather quickly.
Once the room started to fill up it didn't take long for people to divide up into their cliques. I think they were maybe 150 max there, including spouses. Not a great turn out for a class of almost 700. I think I pretty much recognized everyone that did show up.
I just had fun. We danced a little, I did the macarena, and just hung out. It really felt like high school, but ten years later, and without all the anger and insecurity. Unexpected people came up and said hi to me, and I played along.
There was no name calling or anything, so it looks like people have grown up. Or at least, they've learned to keep that crap to themselves, which is growth in a way.
The one thing I wanted out the reunion was that one perfect high school moment, like Buffy gets at her prom. I feel like I had it last night. It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty awesome. I got to reconnect with old friends, and confront old demons. It was easier than i thought it was going to be, and at one point when I was standing in a room surrounded by old classmates I just thought, "this is why I was freaked out?"
I'm so glad I went. A part of me feels a little more complete. It was a nice way to close that chapter.
I think the best part of last night was really letting go of a lot of anger and bitterness.
Holding on to that stuff really does weigh you down.
In hindsight I probably didn't make enough effort to talk to some of the people that actually came up and said hi to me, but I'm okay with that. It's not like I blew anyone off, but I didn't go out of my way to make any new friends.
Actually there were 2 best parts. The other best part was the absence of dread, at least once I got in the door. It used to be that whenever I'd see the guy that I'd asked out or his friends coming near me, I'd start to shake and get this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was dread. I knew something bad was about to happen, and I'd start preparing myself for that. They all walked past me last night, they even came up and said hi and I never once got that feeling of dread. In fact, the guy in question and I were within 2 feet of each other multiple times and there were no words exchanged.
I just feel so, I'd almost use the word elated. Matt asked one of my friends if I had changed much. She said that I really hadn't, but she could tell that I was more confident now. I thought I was confident back then, but it was different. What 17 year old really feels all the comfortable in their skin?
I've been making Romy and Michelle jokes all week, but my reunion differed in one big way. I didn't have to make up a story about post-its. I don't feel unsuccessful or that my life is lacking in anyway. I didn't have to make up some story to make my life any better than it is. I love my life. My job sucks sometimes, but there's a great opportunity right around the corner, and everyone kept telling me how hot my boyfriend is. |
| | Posted 9/24/2006 2:27 AM - 59 Views - 10 eProps - 5 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
